Whenever we see a photo of Mahtama Gandhi he is alone with his poverty. Martin Luther King, Jnr. is alone behind his podium. Aung San Suu Kyi is alone in her home, standing up for freedom. Nelson Mandela is alone in his cell. The hero walks alone.
Except, of course, that’s simply not true. It’s obvious in fiction, but for some reason the truth eludes us when the hero is an actual living being (or no longer living, as the case may be). Harry Potter has his friends and mentors front and centre, as does Luke Skywalker. Frodo has the famous Fellowship for the first part of his story.
The set of allies and mentors is a well-known feature of the hero’s journey as popularized by Joseph Campbell and Chris Vogler. Simply put, no hero succeeds in their story without the help of other people.
As with fictional heroes who are the main characters of their stories, you are the main character of your own story. You need help from a community of people just as much as they do. As did Gandhi, Mandela, and King. As does Aung San Suu Kyi. They were on a hero’s journey and had supporters, mentors, advisors, and followers. All of these types are out there for you too. You just need to look.
Most people don’t look, so most people get what they’re given. It’s easy to collect a supporting cast while you’re on autopilot. There’s the high school and college friends who are there just because you shared some time with them. There’s the set of people from work just because you happen to be in the same place as them forty hours a week. And there’s the friends of friends or the parents of your kids’ friends. They just sort of accumulate. Like socks.
The companions in this sort of autopilot story are random. As with any random samplings, there’s a wide range. There will be incredibly supportive friends as well as soul vampires and mopers. In between them is a large set of “can’t be bothered” until they need something. If this is how you’ve set up your hero’s journey companions, you will have mentally attached names to the types listed.
It’s time to choose.
Choose your companions. Start looking for people to fill the roles you need. And start firing those who are holding you back. Your goal is to create a hero team whose purpose is to support you - to help you create a story worth telling. Once the team is assembled, direct your energy toward them. That energy will be better spent with them than on the ranks of randoms.
One way to begin this team building is to identify some roles you’d like to include. Here are six to get you started. If you’re lucky you’ve already got some of these positions filled.
The Cheerleader - This person always keeps you upbeat, regardless of how they look with pom poms. You know that whatever your mood, a phone call to the Cheerleader will improve it.
The Action Figure - Thinking before leaping is not this person’s forté. They lead with action and often get something done before the rest of us have finished thinking about it. This is the person who can deliver the boot where you need it.
The Thinker - This is the brains of the outfit. Sometimes you just don’t know how to do something or can’t think of all of the options. The Thinker is there for you.
The Inspiration - When you feel like there’s no way you can make an impact, look to the Inspiration. This is someone you want to be like or someone who gets the best out of you. They may be a coach or idol, but either way, they get you motivated.
The Friend - You can tell the Friend anything. They’re great listeners and great secret-keepers. They’re not going to disappear during your greatest need.
The Mentor - The Mentor is your guide. They’ve done it all before and are happy to share their wisdom. They may not make it to your cocktail party, but they’re always happy to meet you for coffee and conversation.
Look outside of the everyday places like the workplace or your social circle. Wherever you live there’s a community around you full of people you’ve never met. No doubt, there are dozens of ways to remedy that. As you start meeting these new people, consider what roles they might fill. Interview them. No need for a resume, but you should be deciding whether you want to invite them to be part of your hero team.
Your team is the key to your success. They are the key to your happiness. Get out their and recruit.